I know I haven't posted for a while. Life has had a few bumps for us and I guess I didn't know how or what to write about.

You hold your babies when they are little, you look at them and you have all kinds of dreams for them and you can picture just how it is all gonna work out. But then they start to grow up, gain independance, and start making choices for themselves. The hardest thing to realize is that they have their free agency, a God given right; and you just pray that you have taught them and loved them enough to help them make the right choices. But no matter how hard you pray or how much you love them, sometimes they are gonna make choices that don't really fit in for what you have planned for them. Then all you can do is get on your knees and pray that they will find out for themselves the path that will lead them to happiness. That somehow, someday, something that you taught them will spark and that they will realize the need for the gospel truths in their lives.

I will admit that the last few months have been the most humbling, gut wrenching, look deep into your soul, bring you to your knees moments that I have ever faced in my life. It is hard not to wonder why, what didn't I do, what did I miss, what should I have done differently? Everyone tells me that it's not my fault and that I can't blame myself. But it's just hard not to wonder why she is making the choices she is and what I should have done to prevent it.

I know there is a lot of things I could have and should have done differently. But dwelling on the past isn't gonna get us anywhere. Now I just have to continue to get on my knees and pray with everything I have that things will work out. I have no where to turn, but to God, to help us all thru this. I can only love her, more now than ever, and hope that she will see it. We can only continue to pick up the pieces and to press forward, steadfast in Christ, with hope that this will all work out in the end.

Ariel, I love you!